Penguins

Two penguins are hanging out on an ice shelf.

PENGUIN #1: You're dressed up.
PENGUIN #2: I'm going to a wedding later.
PENGUIN #1: Who's getting married?
PENGUIN #2: My sister.
PENGUIN #1: Oh, well, congratulations!
PENGUIN #2: I know you slept with her.
PENGUIN #1: What?
PENGUIN #2: Stay away from her, man.
PENGUIN #1: I haven't talked to her in months, all right?
PENGUIN #2: How do you think she feels about that?
PENGUIN #1: Uh, I don't know.
PENGUIN #2: She had to have an abortion, you know.
PENGUIN #1: Oh man, I'm sorry.
PENGUIN #2: (laughs) I'm just kidding.
PENGUIN #1: What?
PENGUIN #2: She didn't get an abortion. The baby froze to death.
PENGUIN #1: Oh.
PENGUIN #2: Well, I better get going. The wedding's in Texas.
PENGUIN #1: Texas?
PENGUIN #2: Yeah, I know.
PENGUIN #1: Make sure your tux doesn't shrink!
PENGUIN #2: (laughs)