On the lap: PUN!

As I have nothing to do and ended up looking down toward my feet, I discovered that my lap was missing, and this got me pondering about the nature of the lap. Here are my thoughts collected in a form for easy absorption.

-People don't talk about their laps very much.
-The lap is much too inactive. It ought to learn to dance.
-The lap is the only part of my body that I cannot figure out how to make produce sound.
-The lap is actually an arbitrary construct and therefore illusory.
-Taller people do not necessarily have bigger laps.
-Lap surface area is directly proportional to athletic ability.
-There is no such thing as lap cancer or cancer of the lap.
-It is highly unlikely that one would rig the lap with an explosive.
-If other animals had laps, they would also be superintelligent.
-You cannot store things in your lap like a kangaroo pouch.
-All laps require knees, but not all knees can produce laps.